“Anger is a choice as well as a habit. It is learned reaction to frustration in which you behave in ways that you would rather not. In fact, severe anger is a form of insanity. You are insane whenever you are not in control your behavior. Therefore, when you are angry and out of control, you are temporarily insane”. – Wayne Dyer
Most of the people get angry over small, simple and silly matters which not only harms the self physically and emotionally but also pollutes the whole atmosphere of the office and home besides irreparable loss in cordial relationship. The main causes of anger are ego, fear or frustration.
Ego: We always think that we are always right and rest of the world is wrong. What we are saying must be heard and followed. Ego is just like dust in the eyes. Without clearing the dust, we can’t see anything clearly. So clear the Ego and see the world. Egoistic person can’t have the capacity to listen to the truth. So most people avoid such type of people as dealing with them is very stressful and nobody wants to add stress in their lives. In short we can say that we get angry if our ego is not satisfied, if it is satisfied, we feel happy.
Fear: Behind anger always lies fear of being powerless or fear of being losing the person or losing the belonging/thing. They think that being aggressive and overreacting is the best way to show that they are strong. Anger is being used as defensive response to the feelings of helplessness. Whenever you express the emotions of anger just ask yourself one question, what am I afraid of? If the driver is not driving properly and you are showing aggressive behavior with the driver, it might be that you are afraid of accidents which might damage the car or hurt you. If you are angry with your son/daughter/spouse when he/she is late, it is the internal fear that whether they are safe. If an employee or servant is disobeying the order and you get angry it is the fear of being powerless. If a worker is not performing his duty which resulted in poor performance of the company and you get angry, it is the fear that your boss may evaluate you poorly. Dr. Robert Anthon said that “The angry people are those people who are most afraid.”
Frustration: “Anger always comes from frustrated expectation”-Elliott Larson. Most of the times anger comes from frustration which has very bad impact on our mind and body. When things do not go as we wish or as we plan and there is an obstacle we immediately become frustrated and angry on persons around us. There are people who can deal with these problems in a calm and rational manner but there are many who are internally weak and have no control on their thoughts react angrily. Frustration not only creates anger but also leads to depression because a frustrated person sees everything as a problem and becomes negative. In society people will hurt you with their words and action and you cannot change them but you can change the thoughts and develop a habit of let go. Accepting life is one of the way of avoiding frustration.
In some cases hormonal imbalances can also the cause angry reactions. Low level of Testosterone harmone produces variety of symptoms i.e. feeling of depression, mood swings and often associated with male anger and aggression. Similarly when women go through menopause numbers of hormonal changes happen in the body which has large effect on physical changes besides number of emotional problems like mood swings. Thus during menopause estrogen hormonal balance is disturbed and people become more impulsive and react angrily. This imbalance can be corrected with medicines, change life style besides meditation.
If you want to get rid of this most dangerous disease sit and analyse why you get angry. Most of the things done during anger will cause you regret and pain. If you could see the video of yourself getting angry, the humiliation definitely will be helpful in curing the disease called anger.
“My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world”–Jack Layton.
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