“Language…has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.” – Paul Tillich:
There is a difference between solitude and loneliness. Lonliness is the negative emotions that you develop after different situations. There may be possibility that you may feel lonely because of a person, failures, less support from the family, work or similar problem. But solitude on the other hand is different from the loneliness, it is more on the positive side than negative, in solitude we engage ourselves in inner growth and reflection.
After going through the journey of self awareness, you become dependable on your own self with never being lonely and feel connected with the current moment all the time.
In loneliness, you may feel alone and without a deep connection to the god or to your higher self. The loneliness can thus become intolerable. To get rid of your lonely feelings without trying to understand, you may be longing for someone to come into your life and rescue you from your isolation. Too many people get into unhealthy relationships as a desperate way to not feel alone. If you believe that being alone means you are not a loveable person, loneliness can feel most humiliating & painful.. When you find yourself caught in the pain of loneliness; it is important to have compassion and empathy for life’s challenges- an important step towards understanding them and transforming your negative loneliness to positive solitude. To transform your loneliness to solitude, you need patience and have to consciously work with your painful emotions, One should start loving Inner child and also do spiritual practices such as mediation, In solitude, you can meditate and be aware of your breathing. Each breath connects you more deeply to your higher self. You have the potential to be spiritual purifier by the quality of your breath. Your inner child can also be a valuable healing tool. The inner child is the child you once were and which continues to live in your adult body. Knowing yourself better can lead to your becoming your own caring friend. This can reduce loneliness.
Learn to enjoy your own company: “The person who has not learned to be happy and content while completely alone for an hour a day, or a week has missed life’s greatest serenity.”- H. Clay Tate
Being alone, you have a rare kind of freedom: to be who you are, to do what you want, with no compromise or sacrifice, to be independent. Enjoy this time, and utilize it to know yourself. Discover your true self, your passions and dreams buried deep. Ask yourself- who are you really? Use this time alone to revive that person you used to be, the hopes, dreams, aspirations, goals and hobbies of that lost person. Do not fall into the trap of self-pity. It is not right to judge yourself, and start believing that you are not likeable. . Get out of your comfort zone. Try to be nice to those who seem lonely like you, and do something for others. You need to believe that you are worthy of a good friendship. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin, to enjoy an experience all by yourself, without the need to share it with someone else to experience it to the fullest. Learn to be your own best friend and company, before expecting someone else to give you companionship.
Check your thoughts when you are alone. Be careful about your thoughts when you are alone. Become mindful of your emotions, and the words you say to yourself when you are alone. . Let the toxic thoughts such as jealousy, anger, self-judgment, confusions, doubt, suspicion, sadism, etc. leave you. It is possible to be solitary instead of lonely. Remember that loneliness can be exhausting, distracting, disconcerting. Solitude, on the other hand, is tranquil, satisfying and healing. . Make it a point to catch proper sleep, because sleep deprivation often leaves a person in a mad mood.
According to Henri Nouwen “To live a spiritual life we must first find the courage to enter into the desert of our loneliness and to change it by gentle and persistent efforts into a garden of solitude. The movement from loneliness to solitude, however, is the beginning of any spiritual life because it is the movement from the restless senses to the restful spirit, from the outward-reaching cravings to the inward-reaching search, from the fearful clinging to the fearless play.”
I love people. I love my family, my children… but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where you renew your springs that never dry up. –Pearl S. Buck