Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured – Mark Twain
Can any human being live without anger in the modern world ?
Yes, if he/she chooses to. If a person decides to live happily and in peace, he/she has to control anger and more importantly not to create anger. Most people are of the opinion that we don’t want to be angry but we get angry due to the behaviour and way of working of the other person. So, the other person is responsible for our angry stage. Therefore, we want to change the other person or expect the other person to change.
In the words of Thomas Kempis – “Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be”.
If you really want to get rid of this disease – anger ; you have to take the responsibility. We generally get angry when someone hurts us emotionally or physically or if someone says something to us which is not good.We justify our anger by telling ourselves, “how can one be calm and peaceful when the other person is behaving like this or that?” Now, you can be angry if you want to be, it is not necessary to create calm and peaceful emotions/feelings; you can create a reactive behaviour, you can go ahead if you justify that it is good for you and the other, but be sure that you take personal responsibility of your behaviour and the outcome of that angry emotions. Never say, ‘I am angry because of you or the other person’. The day we take the responsibility that we are the creators of our anger, it will not be difficult to live without getting angry.
Secondly, the most common belief is that anger is needed to get the work done and we are living our life with this belief system and also teach our children to grow up with the same. As a child I learnt it, if a parent or teacher said something in a mild tone and I was not listening;they used anger as a tool and I listened. I lived my life with this belief system and I use the same mechanism with my children and everyone around me. In modern world it is believed that if we talk nicely, sweetly and with love with all our subordinates or colleagues, they will take the things lightly and start treating us as a weak administrator/leader. It is our age old belief system that without getting angry they will not do the work they were entrusted and that if we are not angry, we can’t get work done from the people.
Every time we use anger as a tool, we experience negative energy, which produces poison in our body. The other person gets hurt and we get more negative vibrations which adversely affect our body and mind. So our first responsibility is to take care of ourselves and then get the work done. From today, let us try a new belief system i.e. Love is needed to get work done. So, put ourselves on the position of staff instead of Boss. How would we like them to talk to us and behave with us – generally nicely/softly and not angrily. Even if we make mistake, the way we like someone to talk to us is surely with love; similarly the person working with us would like the same method. Who would like it to be shouted at ? So, change the belief system and try it.
Let us experiment and tell ourselves that this is the new way we want to work. Come what may I will not shout and never use the weapon of anger. Where there is no anger, there is love. It is proved that, if you work with love you don’t have to get people to work for you, people want to work for you. Replace the belief system for getting the work done which will be with love and discipline and not with anger and harsh words. The new belief system that work can be got done with love and harmony will help to control modern days diseases like heart attack, diabetes, high cholesterol level, weakened immune system, insomnia and high blood pressure whereas uncontrolled anger can lead to stress, depression and other mental health problems.
So,let us change the belief system and live happily, cheerfully and without anger.
“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
OM NAMAH SHIVAYA | Mantra of Transformation